November 29, 2007
o hai
It started out with me being mentally knackered from doing all the gallavanting around for my CBT. It evolved into a bit of worry whether I was getting SAD again, and eventually mutated into Worrying About Other Things. It meant that I didn't update the blog for over four months. Oops...
Several things have prompted me to write again, one of which is the fact that I got a letter from the Benefits Agency yesterday asking me to "telephone to make an appointment for a medical". They took their time. Two things amuse me about the letter. First, it tells me that I must "contact them within two days of receipt of this letter". It wasn't sent registered post or anything, so how on earth could they know when I received it? I had visions of it spontaneously combusting like the Top Secret messages on Mission Impossible. Second, the whole "telephone to make an appointment" thing. When I filled in form IB50, I clearly stated I have problems using the telephone. I suppose they expect me to ask someone else, but it's just a teensy niggle that something I've said about my health problems has been ignored. Oh, and they STILL have me down as a "Miss". I've never been a Miss in all the time I've claimed IB...
These are little things though, and I know I'm being picky, but this letter has put me on my guard because of last time. I feel more anxious at the thought of attending this medical than I do walking into the village and looking round the shops. Of course, the anxiety was bound to happen, but I tried to convince myself that I could put on an act, and show them what I was like on a bad day. The ironic thing is, that it would be better if my anxiety was high during the medical, and it makes me hate the whole thing even more.
Getting there is still going to mean Mr D taking time off work, and therein lies yet another obstacle. I mentioned ages ago about "worries with money", well, things came to a head a couple of months ago, and Mr D had to get another job. It was only a temporary contract, so obviously he was looking around at the same time. He was offered a permanent position recently - and starts on Monday. Now, I'm certain that if push comes to shove, his employers will let him have the time off, but it still doesn't look good.
I telephoned the number on the letter yesterday afternoon. I picked up the phone without thinking about it, and just dialled. The chap I spoke to was very pleasant, and obviously in a call centre. I told him I'd had the letter, and he asked me when would be a good time for me to attend.
"Well" I said, "that's the problem."
I explained about Mr D's new job, and how getting time off might be an issue, and that I couldn't attend without him. The man offered me a cancellation today, which was impossible - Mr D couldn't even give his employers a day's notice, and it would be unpaid leave. I turned it down, along with another one for the beginning of next week. The man explained that he was only able to offer two appointment choices, and while my head was spinning trying to work out what to do, he said, "tell you what, I can put you down for December 14th in the circumstances". So, December 14th it is. Mr D will have to take half a day's holiday, but at least he's able to let his employers know well in advance.
Of course, my other big worry about this is who will be the examining medical practitioner. I asked the chap on the phone, and he said that all I could do was ring the place where the medicals are held nearer the time. What if it's that same doctor? Do I have the right to refuse to be examined without it affecting my benefits? I've been working on something to say just in case - along the lines of "I do not want to be examined by a doctor who has obviously no experience with mental health issues, and no idea what medical problem he is assessing". I don't know. If it comes to that, I'll probably gabble on incoherently and get upset. It may not come to that, though, and I have to keep my thoughts rational - at least, until nearer the time - I can be as anxious as I like on the day...
PS comments are off - I was being spammed to death, so email me if you have any burning thoughts.
Posted by domino at 6:49 PM | Comments (0)
July 24, 2007
Coming Around Again
Before I went to Woolfest, I received form IB50 from the Benefits Agency. The usual claptrap about wanting "more information" about my medical condition - the same form that I received 18 months ago which led to the Great IB Debacle. O Joy.
It didn't have to be returned until the 12th of July, so I decided (sensibly) to leave it until I returned. Frankly, I had more important things to think about - like my recovery and getting to Woolfest. The form has since been filled in and was posted in time, but it raises some interesting questions.
18 months ago, despite being virtually housebound by agoraphobia and panic disorder, my IB claim was turned down. The doctor who performed my Personal Capability Assessment (PCA) massaged my answers to fit his criteria, and in the end it looked as though there was nothing wrong with me. This time, I am a million times better than I was, yet still not well enough to get to the Job Centre to sign on by myself. I need more time to continue with my CBT, to build up my levels of independence to a point where I can rejoin the real world properly.
You see my quandary. Not well enough to sign on, but technically not unwell enough to claim IB. I am in limbo, and my choices are limited. If I tell the truth - that I can get out and about to limited places like the local shop, I'll fail and be denied IB. Alternatively, I could make out that I'm no better, and even though I've made progress with CBT, I could say I still don't go anywhere on my own. In other words, I could lie.
I've decided to write a blog entry about it to highlight just how screwed the system is. Instead of focusing on my recovery and being positive, I'm put in a situation where I'm worrying about whether my benefit will be stopped, and focusing on the negative to make sure that doesn't happen. In other words, going against everything that the CBT has taught me. Anyone who has filled in these disability benefits forms knows how soul destroying it can be. Telling the Benefits Agency all the negative stuff. It compounds it, drives home how much you can't do. Everyone who knows me knows that I'm trying my damnedest to get past the agoraphobia. They know how much I hate it, how much I'm fighting it. How much I'm trying my damndest to stay positive. However, I still have problems. Going most places leaves me mentally exhausted. I have to push myself every step of the way. I still can't answer the telephone if I don't know the number, and I still don't answer the door. I do try to keep a positive mindset, and part of the CBT focused on how negative I can be, and helped me address that. Now I'm being made to fly in the face of my therapy to get a bit of money to live on.
I have kept my paperwork from the IB Debacle, and my one comfort is that I know exactly what they'll be looking for. However, it still makes me uncomfortable, in spite of me saying 18 months ago "I don't care if I have to lie, I don't want to ever go through an appeal ever again"
Posted by domino at 3:31 PM | Comments (8)
June 9, 2006
I WON!!!
Hot off the press is an email from Wonderful Legal Secretary to say that they received a letter from the Appeals Service this morning to say I'd won my appeal.
I think I screamed, I certainly started crying a little bit. I phoned Mr D and realised that my entire mouth and jaw had turned into jelly. I mumbled something about "benefits thing email from WLS we won" and broke down crying again.
Now, about 4 hours later, it's still sinking in. Although I was trying to be positive because the thought of failing the appeal was just too scary, there was always this tiny bit of me that felt wary about my optimism. Now I can let my guard down, and it feels weird.
The Benefits Agency can counter-appeal, but my legal team™ think it's highly unlikely.
For the gazillionth time, I can't thank Lovely Solicitor and Wonderful Legal Secretary enough. For the encouragement, help, advice, support and guidance they have readily supplied. For wording my ssubmission in such a way that it shouted "what a dozy prick that doctor was" whilst being eloquent, emphatic and professional.
Thank you, guys. xx
Posted by domino at 9:52 AM | Comments (3)
June 8, 2006
bad dominocat
I'm a sod for updating this blog, I admit it. Sometimes, there's not a huge amount to say, and I worry about writing rubbish for the sake of it. However, not writing (and my current mental state) means that People Worry, and for that I apologise, and thank you for your emails and love and everything. I have decided that I shall post more often, and if there's nothing interesting to say, I'll just post a nice photo that I've taken. Oh, and I've been fiddling with the site again and have broken the 'about' link.
On Monday, I realised that it was six calendar months since my IB was stopped, so I took a huge deep breath, and telephoned the Appeals Service to see if they could give me an idea of how long it would take. I don't know why I was shaking so badly or why my mouth was so dry because the lady I spoke to sounded lovely. I rattled off IB-paper-hearing-six-months-no-money and she said she could take my national insurance number and check for me. While she tapped at the keyboard, she said that the IB appeals were taking about eleven weeks from submission (ie the day they got the form that says I want to appeal) and then she went a bit quiet. "oh..." she said when she realised how long mine had been in (17 weeks give or take). She told me that I would be at "the top of the pile" by now, that they'd been very busy lately, and if I hadn't heard anything in two weeks, to give them a ring back.
I got the feeling that she was expecting a tirade of "where's me fookin' giro???" and it occurred to me afterwards that they must take a lot of crap from people. Although they're a government department, they are independent from the DWP, and I guess they can't help it if a crazy number of people need to appeal against benefits decisions.
Because she seemed nice, I relaxed a bit and managed to ask her what I should do if I felt the need to complain about the way in which my PCA was carried out. I used phrases like "blatanty lied" and "made grossly inaccurate assumptions" and she said "really??" in exactly the right tone of voice, which made me feel a bit better. She told me that each Benefits office has a "customer service manager", and I should ring and find out their name, and write to them. I was just going to write to my MP, but it seems this is the correct course of action. I shall, of course, keep you informed.
Posted by domino at 3:20 PM | Comments (1)
May 21, 2006
Cripes...
Hello, I'm still alive I promise, my head's just not where it should be right now. Again.
Here I am, at 6am on a Sunday morning, unable to sleep, and I read the news on the BBC. It seems that yet again the IB and DLA Personal Capability Assessment is coming under fire:
"Almost 80,000 sick and disabled people a year are being wrongly denied benefits..."
Disability Minister Anne McGuire has said, "What I think ought to be recognised is that we are responding positively where those criticisms are made." which is nice, because I feel even more empowered to be able to complain to the Paliamentary Ombudsman.
I especially like the bit that says:
"Atos Origin doctors send their reports to civil servants who make a final decision about a person's entitlement."
Which is interesting, because if the points are awarded based on a certain section of questions on the report, it makes it incredibly easy for the examining medical practitioner to lean either in favour or (more likely) against a claimant getting benefit.
I still chew over in my mind why the doctor made such blatant errors in my case. The article highlights that "the relationship between a private contractor - Atos Origin - and the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) has often been to blame" which makes you wonder. I had imagined a top secret memo to EMP's about Mr Hutton's plan to get 1m people off IB, and subliminally feeding them right wing propaganda, but then my imagination sometimes works overtime...
Posted by domino at 6:13 AM | Comments (0)
March 30, 2006
previously on dominocat...
I wrote this in notepad whilst I was trying to figure out how to get my site back up
You know that saying about waiting for a bus then they all turn up at once? This is my blog. In fact, changing webhosts and having a brain spack trying to get my blog back up has been a boost for Things Happening, because they've all waited until I've no means to tell THE INTARNET.
Anyway.
In an hour, I meet my new counsellor. In June last year, I had an assessment with the psychology department and the deal was that I would go on the waiting list for CBT. I was told that it would be hard work, and that it would last no longer than 8 weeks or so. That day, I realised that I would need to be in a Good Place mentally to do this, and spent the rest of the year trying incredibly hard to not get depressed again. I know that sounds a bit weird - it goes like this. Any time I started having negative thoughts, I made myself do something else. I played a happy song and sing along to it. I knit some bright pink socks. Anything that will put my mind elsewhere, and away from the negative and intrusive thoughts. I seemed to spend the whole time on the verge of a mental precipice, afraid that one false step would see me tumbling over the edge into the abyss. As it turned out, someone else pushed me.
It's fair to say that for the last couple of months, I haven't been in that Good Place. Strangely, it seems to have kicked me hard since I handed over my appeal statement to my solicitor. Somewhere inside my head, I've heaved a sigh of relief, and relaxed. A bit too much, because I lost control of the depression. The symptoms are the usual suspects, coupled with a lot of anger over the situation - and I am absolutely knackered. My physical health has suffered, and I think this year so far, I've had about two or three weeks of wellness where I'm not suffering from a D&V bug, or a neck spasm or a bad cold or a back spasm. Those well times have been spent feeling exhausted, feeling the need to recover completely - but it never happens, because some other health thing always happens.
I am worried that the psych bloke will think I'm feigning to get out of the work, or that I'm not suitable for the therapy or something. I'm worried that my brain won't work properly, or that I'll bugger my back again just as I'm getting somewhere. Most of all, I'm worried that I'll fail.
Posted by domino at 8:21 AM | Comments (0)
March 11, 2006
I finally finished it
I'd done about 75% when I got a message from Wonderful Legal Secretary with a gentle "ahem". Something I'd promised her would only take the weekend to do, had taken two weeks so far.
I think the problem I've had is that I *know* that this is IT. Once that statement is submitted, there's no turning back, there's no "hang on, I forgot to mention x which is CRUCIAL to my appeal". Part of me was afraid to write "the end, lots of love from dominocat" because I couldn't quite face that finality.
When WLS nudged me, I realised that duh! I have to finish it and let her and Lovely Solicitor read it, so they can make sure it's right. So, yesterday I emailed her my four page thesis on "My Health, and Why I Think That Doctor Was an Incompetent Fart". I breathed a sigh of relief, and with a strange feeling akin to having a *massive* bowel movement, I went about my day.
Mr D had taken a day off work to take me to the doctor. She asked how my mood was, and I made a face, and said that this benefits appeal was getting to me a bit. I said that if it wasn't for WLS and LS giving me so much positive encouragement, I don't think I could have coped with it. What she said to me is something I want to pass on to anyone who is faced with a disability benefits appeal and is feeling a bit shit about it:
She told me that if I hadn't appealed, I would have probably had to go and sign on. I mentioned that Mr D would also have to take time off work to take me to the job centre. She said that in being interviewed for Job Seeker's Allowance, the interviewer would take one look at my abilities and what I can and can't do, and wonder what the hell I was doing there. Of course, I would explain that I'd had IB turned down, and that I couldn't face the trauma of appeal. Dr H said that the job centre would advise me to appeal, as there was no way I could feasibly be a 'job seeker'. I'd have gone through an extra interview and extra stress for nothing.
When I first got the decision, it looked so damned obvious - these people at the Benefits Agency were either blind or stupid or something. I was livid, and could clearly see in my head in the space of a split second, everything that was wrong with that medical. That initial anger takes a lot out of you. When you go through the appeal itself, you realise what a pain in the arse it's going to be. For someone with borderline OCD who needs to feel in control, it's my worst nightmare. I send off a slip of paper to say I want to appeal, and I haveto wait until someone has scrutinised my medical report, until I get a massive wad of paper through the post that looks like a book manuscript, etc ad infinitum, ad nauseum.
I guess what I'm trying to say (because it's starting to sound like I'm putting people off) is don't give up. If you can't get a solicitor, pester the CAB. It sounds like (according to Dr H) that the Benefits Agency is failing a *massive* amount of claimants, based on the idea that the fraudsters are less likely to appeal. No, the people with mental health problems are less likely to appeal - and this action by the government to try and meet John Hutton's targets of getting 1m people off IB is misguided and cruel, and makes me more angry than I think I have ever been in my life.
I guess the key is to channel that anger into something positive...
When I got home, I had an email waiting for me from Wonderful Legal Secretary telling me that my statement was brilliant, and not to worry about a thing. I wasn't going to put this, because I know she reads here, but I read that and cried a little bit. Whatever happens now, I think the hard part is over.
Posted by domino at 3:44 PM | Comments (0)
March 2, 2006
Gosh, they're quick!
But at least the CAB has stood up and said something about the Incapacity Benefit Reforms proposals.
"People with mental health problems are particularly likely to be wrongly assessed"
What, really??? /sarcasm
In my opinion, we already are. The current PCA assessment works for people who know how to work the system. People with genuine mental health conditions like mine are more likely to be honest, and in my opinion, are more likely to have benefits denied than someone who is committing fraud and knows exactly what the Benefits Agency is looking for. The PCA awards points for malingering, and takes them away if you try to improve your condition.
I also note with interest the comment about assessing doctors being "rude and insensitive" - how about doctors who know nothing about the mental health problem they're supposed to be assessing?
I had already considered writing to mental health charity MIND, and my MP about this, now I have back up.
The full press report can be found here.
Posted by domino at 4:36 PM | Comments (2)
February 28, 2006
confounding
I am the sort of person who thinks obsessively. I say that I tend to "over think" or that I'm an "analytical thinker", because stuff goes round in my head until I'm dizzy. There are lots of people out there who can be puzzled at something that's happened, and then say "oh well" and shrug, because they accept that not everything makes sense. I am not one of those people. The maybes, the whys, the wherefores all spin round in my head like a pink sock in a white wash.
Of course, over the last few weeks, I've done little else but obsess over the details of my IB appeal. From a simple "damn, what was that doctor on?" to a broader "the whole system's fucked" and everywhere in between. In my head, it's been extremely complex, and if my thought processes could be printed out on a flow chart - well, let's just say there isn't a piece of paper big enough.
So, you'd think that writing my statement of appeal would be easy. I've got the facts sorted out, I know I'm right, I'm articulate and intelligent. So, yesterday I sat down with a note pad and the appeal summary bobbins, and started reading. I knew I'd get angry with it, and thought that I'd channel that anger into a well constructed statement that someone with clout was actually going to read.
Then I noticed something. If you remember, the doctor at the medical in December ticked the yes and no boxes, and had to write the reasons for his answers. The first question on the list was the one about whether I could answer the telephone and take a message. He'd said yes, and I couldn't read his writing well enough to decipher his reasons. Yesterday, as I went through the pages once again, I realised what it said.
"answers when phone ring, responsible memory"
In other words the doctor has BLATANTLY LIED on that form. If I could have channelled that anger into a well constructed statement, it would have been fantastic...
Posted by domino at 4:39 PM | Comments (0)
February 23, 2006
That's better
It takes a five minute conversation with the Lovely Solicitor™ to put my mind at rest.
Up til then, I was convinced that if I had to drag myself to a tribunal, kicking, screaming and stoned on valium before promptly puking on their desk, I would do it. LS™ says this isn't necessary. My options for a hearing have been either an oral hearing (the kicking and screaming bit) or a paper hearing, where I basically submit a statement of why I think the decision is wrong. I had this idea of writing a statement anyway, in case I spacked out at the hearing and couldn't get my point across, and I've been busying myself making notes etc. LS™ suggested that an oral hearing might give the appeals panel the grounds to say, "well you made it here, what's the problem?" (or something like that). So, the way forward is a paper hearing.
The bumph I received yesterday asks if I have any further evidence to support my claim. This has always bothered me, because at the moment, apart from Dr H, I'm not seeing anyone. LS™ and Wonderful Legal Secretary™ have suggested that a statement from Mr D will be good - and it makes so much sense - after all, he knows me best and lives with this shit too. I've been given instructions about how it should be written, and what they'll be looking for.
That's this weekend sorted, then...
Posted by domino at 4:46 PM | Comments (1)
February 22, 2006
she knits and she shits
there I was, writing a post about how I've been dying from the most horrible diarrhoea and vomiting bug EVER, when *thunk* the postman drops an A4 manilla envelope through the letter box. It looks like someone thinks I'm a publisher, because it's as big as a book manuscript.
It may as well be a novel - it's the "Life and Times of Dominocat's IB Claim". The Benefits agency have sent me photocopies of every bit of paper pertaining to my claim now, and stuff from when I had a PCA in 2004. Hopefully, the Benefits Agency have sent a copy to my solicitor (that still sounds so cool!) otherwise I'll have to spend a lot of money copying it and sending it on. It makes interesting reading - and answers a few questions that I had. One of these was "which of my health care professionals filled in the form last time?" I thought it was M, I distinctly remember having conversations with her about it. As it turns out, it was Dr H, who filled it in this time too.
It seems they have put my appeal through what they call "reconsideration" where someone looks at the forms again and decides whether they added the points up correctly. I'd already said there was no point in doing this, because I was appealing against the entire medical, and the fact that the doctor didn't even ask me many of the questions on the form - well, you know the story.
The whole thing looks incredibly scary. The size of the document, the legalese, the fact it is scrutinizing me, when all I want to do is hide... I can't help thinking that they make it deliberately scary to put people off. I honestly think that if it wasn't for the fact that I have a solicitor and his wonderful legal secretary giving me encouragement and resassurance, I'd have just puked and given up.
Posted by domino at 4:43 PM | Comments (0)
January 23, 2006
More IB stuff
When the BBC originally opened "Have Your Say" to comments from the public about Incapacity Benefit reforms, it was a general "what do you think, then?" Over the following days, the priority of the question gave way to things like "Should we have ID cards?" and "What do you think of the latest Bin Laden tapes?". Mr Hutton's latest revalation that GP's should be offered cash to encourage IB claimants back to work has brought the issue to the fore again, this time with the heading "Should welfare work rules be tougher?" I can't help thinking that the BBC is trying to lead people - it's funny how the topic slid quickly down the list when it became clear that many commenters were absolutely incensed about Mr Hutton's proposals.
My favourite comment, however, comes from a GP:
I keep sending comments in, but so far only one has been published. The BBC allow 500 characters for your comment, which isn't much to voice your dissent, especially when you want to respond to so many of the commenters who appear less than clued up about the whole thing. I may do it here...
Posted by domino at 10:03 AM | Comments (0)
January 17, 2006
*yawn*
Well, this should be fun...
"[Incapacity Benefit] reforms would include an element of compulsion"
I think the thing I have to hold on to is that these plans aren't due to go 'live' until about 2008. By then, I'll either have had enough counselling to get me better enough to work, or a new government will be in power. Like Scarlett O'Hara said, "I can't think about that now, I'll think about that tomorrow" Still, it doesn't help. Half way down the page is a link to "Have Your Say" - where the Beeb invites comments from the public. Some of them make interesting (if spine tingling) reading.
Regarding my appeal, I don't want to say a huge amount, other than "friends who are legal secretaries are just utterly wonderful". I now have the appeal forms filled in and sent, with the help of her boss. I can't begin to describe how grateful I am to them both.
One thing that I realised when I was rattling on to anyone who would listen, was that the doctor at the medical didn't ask me one single question about panic attacks. Given that panic attacks are the main reason I don't work (my fear of going outside alone has a lot to do with a fear of having a panic attack on my own), I think this is utterly disgusting. There's a lot wrong with that medical, not just the system and how it works, but the actual doctor and his examination.
Posted by domino at 1:11 PM | Comments (0)
January 6, 2006
Thinking
I've been thinking a bit more about this whole IB decision, and have come to two conclusions.
Firstly, the points system. It looks like I fill a form in, my GP fills a form in, and a doctor examines me, then someone else comes along and awards me points based on those three things. (A blind person, obviously)
Secondly, I'm pretty certain that last time this assessment thing happened, it was M, not my GP who filled in the "health care professional" side of the form. With all due respect to my GP, a psychology counsellor who has spoken to me in depth for an hour every fortnight is going to be more able to accurately describe my day to day living. My GP sees me for 10-15 minutes once a month, and none of our consultation is counselling. Having said that, I was there in her office when she filled in the forms, and I don't recall having any cause to say "hang on a minute, what about..."
I went through the points scoresheet, and answered the questions as honestly as possible. I scored 22. I required 10 to qualify for IB, and they had given me 7.
I swallowed a lot of rage yesterday afternoon and phoned the Benefits Agency. I just couldn't understand how they had got it so wrong. The woman I spoke to was okay, at least she wasn't one of these stereotypical benefits ogres (but then, I wasn't screaming "where's me fookin' giro??" down the phone and threatening to leave my baby on their step, while calming my nerves with 20 regal kingsize). I learned a few interesting things. She told me that "it's a fine line sometimes between getting IB and not" Yes, there's a fine line between 7 points and 22 points. She told me that as I didn't qualify for Income Support, it might be worth claiming Job Seeker's Allowance. Riiigght - so, signing on as unemployed and "fit and available for work" is a good idea... Finally, she suggested that I contact the Disablilty Employment Advisor.
When my employers first terminated my contract about 4 years ago, I was sent to the Disability Employment Advisor. The poor woman struggled to suggest things that would be helpful, and in the end, said "I think your best idea is to see how the counselling goes then come back to me". Although my situation has fluctuated since then -I've felt better and I've felt a damn sight worse - I really don't know what they could tell me. Call me defeatist if you like, but what on earth is the point of going and getting stressed about new places and people for no reason?
The Benefits Agency cut any benefits that they decide you're not entitled to immediately - without warning. This means that I got the letter yesterday, and I stopped getting benefit yesterday. I hope to god we weren't relying on that payment for any direct debit or anything...
If anyone is googling for advice on a similar situation, a friend has advised me to contact DIAL UK. I haven't yet, but will do, and report back...
Posted by domino at 1:13 PM | Comments (0)
Update
I've received a copy of the medical report.
I don't care who knows this. If it helps someone else, then fine. Basically, the form I filled in and the form my GP filled in were a waste of time and effort. The entire assessment is based on 20 minutes with a doctor who has never seen you before. The check sheet with yes and no answers constitutes about 80% of that doctor's report, word for word. There is a small space underneath for "reasons for your answer". Most of them are either COMPLETELEY WRONG or misleading.
I've had enough now. If it wasn't for the fact that I can't afford to lose the money, I wouldn't fucking bother.
Oh, and DIAL have told me to contact Citizen's Advice, who (locally) are only open from 10am to 12pm, meaning Mr D has to take more time off work.
Christ...
Posted by domino at 1:12 PM | Comments (0)
January 5, 2006
Benefits Agency Angst
I mentioned a couple of posts ago that I had an assessment for claiming Incapacity Benefit in early December. I got a letter today, telling me I no longer qualify for IB. Looking at the letter, they might as well have written "we really have no clue about this lady's condition, and we're just ticking random boxes"
Last time I got this letter, it simply said that I still qualify, and that I had the right to appeal against the decision - the usual blurb, but this time, they've broken it down into a more in depth look at how they reached their decision, with a tick sheet of basic questions the answers to which award you 'points'. Get enough points, and you get the benefit.
The entire page on "physical health" is a series of 'no' answers - basically they think that because I was okay on that particular day, I don't have a physical health problem. Given that last week, I was crawling on the floor to go to the toilet because the pain in my back and hip was so bad I couldn't stand, I think they've got something wrong. Although my reason for not working and claiming this benefit is primarily due to my mental health problems, I'm sure it is important to get the facts right about my physical health problems too.
The page on "mental health" is a series of both yes and no responses, which I can't understand because I wasn't asked half the questions on this form. How the hell they have reached the conclusion that I "can answer the telephone and reliably take a message" is beyond me, because I wasn't even asked that. If I had been, I would have told them that the mere ringing of the telephone can cause me to have a panic attack, and there is NO WAY I can answer the phone if I don't know who it is.
They have also decided that my mental health problem "does not prevent me from undertaking leisure activities which I have previously enjoyed". I've lost count of the amount of times I've been invited places and declined because of how I feel, or how it would affect my anxiety. I can't go to the cinema if it's busy. I rarely go out with friends, because I need to feel safe. I don't go out on my bike any more, partly because of the pain, and partly because I can't go outside by myself. The terror I feel at the thought of leaving the house on my own is incredible.
I guess that the Benefits Agency can't have a system that takes into account every little nuance of my mental health, however this so-called "assessment" is ridiculous. As well as the medical I attended, there was also a detailed form to fill in about my illness. On it, I definitely put about my problems with the telephone, and I remember writing something to the tune of "I only go out when absolutely necessary, and even then, I have to be accompanied by my husband". It seems that my efforts to accurately describe my day to day life with this disability went unheeded.
I shall be appealing, partly because I need the money, and partly because I'd planned to apply for DLA, and although it has separate forms, I don't know how much of this "assessment" they will look at. What bothers me is that my answers to the questions (both on the form I received and the doctor's questions) were exactly the same as previous occasions. Nothing about my condition has changed. This whole thing needs to be consistent, for fucks sake...
Posted by domino at 6:21 PM | Comments (0)